Today was a wonderful day. Day light savings just started yesterday, so we got an extra hour in the mornings, and I used it to wake up early this morning. Lately, I've been really trying to evaluate my life, and to see really what is the most important things. I've been touched by several things, including a BYU Devotional we had a few weeks ago where the Prophet, President Monson spoke. He shared a story about Elder Christianson of the Seventy, and how he gained his testimony of the Book of Mormon. It came with much time and great sacrifice during his college years, but looking back, he said that he uses the skills he learned with that degree about once in a year, but he uses his testimony that the Book of Mormon is the word of God every day of his life. It made me think about what really are the most important things for me in my life right now. I know that getting an education is very important, but I also think that devoting too much time and energy into it could prevent me from the more weightier matters. I think staying close to my Heavenly Father is the most important thing. So studying the scriptures daily and having meaningful, frequent daily prayer are so important and deserve a high priority in my life. Also, attending the Temple on a regular basis. I have also felt impressed for quite some time that I have many ancestors waiting for me to do missionary work for them on the other side of the veil. So I have started using the new family search website, and last week I took a name of one of my relatives to the temple. I feel also that searching for an eternal companion is so important right now and also deserves a high priority. That means dating, and going out of my way and putting much effort into finding and pursuing a relationship. I have been dating a lot, more than ever before. It is fun, and also challenging, but I have yet to find one person who I would like to be in a relationship with. There are so many wonderful girls here, it is hard to know which one is right. Finally, today I felt a great ennobling Spirit inside of me during my New Testament class. I thought about people like Parley P. Pratt, or Paul in the New Testament, who were so skilled in so many ways, and so faithful to the gospel. I realized that I have a great potential for greatness, but I think it is highly untapped because I am so occupied with things of lesser importance. So I have made some decisions. And it's not just today that I made them. I feel like this has been building up for some time, and I have already made many decisions, but it feels good to be writing them out. For one, I am going to live a clean life. In all ways. Spiritual and Physical. I feel that I have been doing good on the spiritual side, (i know that I can always use improvement, but I just feel that I have been doing very well at being morally clean), but I could use improvement there in being even closer to the Lord and to his Spirit. I have been trying to make my prayers more meaningful and real, and this seeking to be close to the Lord has led me to desire to be physically clean. I have been washing the dishes constantly for several days now. Not just my own, but any that are in the sink, just so that we can have a clean environment in our apartment and feel the Spirit. I feel that my doing so is also having a positive influence on my roommates for them to clean their dishes as well. I am going to keep my bedroom neat, clean, and organized. I am going to be well kept, and wear clean good smelling clothes. I think all of these things will contribute to me being closer to the Lord and feeling better about myself. I am also starting a regular work out routine. I want to be physically fit my whole life long. I want my body to be healthy, and I would like it to be pleasing for my future wife. I am going to write in my journal regularly (hence the creation of this journal). I am going to be updated on current news and advances in science and technology. I am going to be politically aware and capable of carrying on intelligent political conversations, and formulating political decisions based on real research and prayer. I don't know how I'm going to do all of this. But this is who I want to be, and so much more. It is who I feel the Lord is leading me to be. Also, I definitely want to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to serve him and others. I want to be in tune with His Spirit, so that I can recognize and follow it's promptings and serve those in need daily. This is who I want to be. Also, I want to do better at recording the many spiritual experiences the Lord has blessed me with. Tonight, I experienced one with the missionaries at the MTC. Before I left home, I knelt in prayer and asked the Lord to bless the missionaries to learn by the Spirit tonight. In our lesson today, we role played and the missionaries practiced teaching a sister missionary, Sister Martinez, by the Spirit. At first, the started to address her concerns, speaking the doctrine, rather than listening and discerning her needs. So I asked them to pause, and listen for the Spirit first, and then teach what the Lord wants them to. They spent about 5 minutes in silence, and then I asked a question to get them going, and then they really started teaching by the Spirit. It was so powerful, and we could all feel the Spirit coming from those missionaries as they taught true doctrine, clearly, and powerfully by the Spirit. Afterwards, one of the Elders started crying as he was overcome by the Spirit. He said that he was struggling so hard to listen and recognize the Spirit, and then it just came upon him, and gave him what he should say and he felt the Spirit as he taught. The other elder said that he learned by the Spirit that he needs to stay more focused throughout the day, even if it is P-Day, so that he can have the Spirit with him when he teaches. The Sisters also taught powerfully by the Spirit, and we were all edified. I am so grateful for this wonderful experience. I love you all. Everyone. I love the Lord. I am so grateful for His love. I love him because he first loved us.
Love,
Ethan A. Grabau
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